a drop of water

Resolved to use my heart to love and pass on what God has given me, instead of using to fester hate,complaints and or bitterness.

“God has given us a heart to love him and other people with. To use it in any other capacity would be toe waste God’s gift. Two questions I ask myself: how big is my heart and what is it filled with?”

Resolved to not make decisions solely based on my understanding of the consequences, but to focus decisions more on my own motivations.

Benson always reminds me of the idea that there often there are not wrong decisions, just wrong motivations. I think this part of what freedom in Christ looks like, being able to run in multiple directions, because ultimately God is in control of the consequences.

This week at the Justice Discussion during the second service at Coast, we played variation of monopoly. Monopoly is based on the principle where everyone begins on an equal playing field, with the similar resources and minimal advantages over opponents. However, in our game we were given new roles. Each player received an envelope containing a social class, lower, working, middle, and upper class. Each class was given a different amount of cash, a different amount of preset property, a different set of rules regarding movement on the board, a different set of rules regarding jail, different pass-go-collect X dollars, and different limitations in what property to buy. For example, the lower class was only allowed to buy property on the first row, while the upper class could buy anything they wanted to. The upper class collected 200 on pass-go and had 4 chances to roll a double or a number greater than 7 to get out of jail, while the lower class collected 85 on pass-go and had 1 chance to roll a double to get out of jail. The lower class was required to move the exact number of spaces on the dice roll, while the other classes had the option of going one forward, or one back, or either from their dice roll.

I was given the lower class envelope. It was definitely frustrating because I really had no opportunity to buy any property, let alone any houses (or hotels). At certain points in the game I forfeited my turn and tried to unsuccessfully bargain to be put into jail because that was the only protection between me and the rent collectors. It was interesting to see the rules being bent (easily) in deals between the upper and middle classes. The lower and working classes tried to bargain, but had very little bargaining power. It was interesting because the upper and middle class players felt sorry for the working and lower classes and showed them small acts of charity, ie, waiving rent once or twice, or letting us forfeit our roll once or twice, but the idea of changing the rules, letting us buy property in the ‘richer’ parts of the board did not even enter their minds. The circumstances were bandaged up, but the system that caused the wounds was not changed. The lower and working class forfeited and tried to bargain all that they have, in this case, their ability to play the game, so that they could survive another turn (day), while the middle and upper classes sacrificed small assets that could easily be replaced tomorrow.

How real is this situation in San Diego, CA? I mean, (as someone mentioned in the debrief after the game on Sunday), that this sounds like 3rd world, but not here, in the US, the land where everyone has access to education and chance to succeed. I did some research in San Diego. According to wikipedia, 14.6% of the population in San Diego (which is 10% of families) live below the poverty line, that is…1 in 6 people. The federal poverty line in 2006 is 20k for a family of 4 and 15k for a family of 3. Unfortunately schools are given resources representative of the communities tax bracket; more well-to-do neighborhoods receive more government money for schools.

So, what is my response? I don’t really have any answers, except to write blog posts. Maybe someday I will have some answers or maybe my blogging will spark some ideas in your mind?

Yesterday I had dinner at Gami Sushi (currently 50% Maki (rolls)) with Eric and we were realizing how much has happened, changed, transpired in one year. So today I went to gmail and searched “Mar 15, 2006″ to see what story my email tells.

One year ago, Joe and I had just started the Iron Men discipleship program at the Rock and we were both about to graduate from our respective schools. Benson and I were buying and selling IBM x60s laptops from Lenovo. I was selling 1st Gen 4GB Ipod Nanos that I had gotten at a steep discount from the “BENSMOTHR,” $80 off $80 amazon coupon code. I sold Jenn’s unused coffee grinder, her old nikon coolpix 2500, and a few electrical engineering textbooks. I also sold a RAZR battery and dropped it off a condominium complex called Il Palio, about 5-10 minutes from my work. I was also in the middle of collecting money for Benson’s waterfield bag / amazon gift certificate (do you still have either Benson?), haha. Mike just had a web position interview with Apple HR and Chris emailed Jenn, Dar and me about how fish (sashimi) will be something of the past in 5-10 years.

Today, the Iron Men discipleship program at the Rock is completed. Joe and I attend different churches now, Flood and Coast respectively. Joe isn’t paid for his culinary skills anymore and works at Cal IT2. Benson doesn’t own an IBM laptop anymore and has gone macbook black. I’ve switched mp3 player again…haha…to 2nd Gen 8gb nano. There has not been any other crazy amazon coupons from Dennis this year yet, but we are keeping our fingers crossed. Jenn has gone from using my canon s410, to me selling it, to her using my canon s2. We added a coffee grinder to our wedding registry…haha. Most of my college books have been liquidated and have been replaced by wikis. I no longer own a razr phone. Il Palio is now the location of my future home. Benson’s birthday is coming up again, it marks the beginning of birthday season, which we must all budget for. Mike just had a interview at intuit (that Mike, always getting interviews). Chris and I are still eating sashimi.

I wonder what this next year will bring. My predictions will be that Joe will be more involved in the managing of small groups at the Flood. Jenn and I will be helping bridge the gap between college students and families at Coast. Joe will be a program director at Cal IT2. Benson will have switched back to IBM, because Mac OS X will be able to be run on intel processors. I will have purchased my first 12″ 1400×1050 mac that has 8hrs of battery life and backlit keys, after trading in my IBM x60s. As a surprise to Jenn, myself and everyone else, I will not have switched MP3 players and will still use my trusty 8gb nano. Dennis will have found another crazy coupon, 50$ off 50$. I will have sold my canon s2, and Jenn will use a canon sd1000. Jenn and I will be married :), along with (Micah & Christie, Stacey & Daniel, Dustin & Valene, Chris & Julie, Ryan & Christine). Wiki-textbook will be on the news and people will be projecting that it will replace what we knew as textbooks in the not too distant future. I will still own a samsung d900. Jenn and I will have a small group at our house for the residents in our community. Benson’s birthday is coming up, yet again, and I will be wondering what to get him…haha…maybe a waterfield case for his new laptop. Mike will finally stop entertaining interviews, since he now works for Intuit in AZ.

Okay, the predictions were fun, haha.

Resolved to live each day in light of being accountable to sharing with someone what I learned new today, in the event they should be interested.

Since graduation, plenty of days have gone by where I merely “get through” the day’s tasks and chores without giving a thought to what I am learning, or what I should investigate further.  In school, I was spoon fed new ideas and skills daily, and now I need to make a conscious effort to seek to learn, instead of just rehashing my old tricks.