a drop of water

Jamie mentioned in his sermon a few weeks ago at Coast, that we are hungry for God’s direction, for the power of the Spirit and for his answers to our questions and problems, but we are not hungry for our character to be made more like God’s character and not for the fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patient, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

It was a sharp reminder to me.  I want the answers, and the power to work in people’s lives and pass over the working through the hard stuff of love, joy, peace, patient, kindess, goodenss, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in my personal relationships with God and people.

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Jamie also posed the question, “What are we known for?”  It’s an interesting question to answer yourself and ask a close friend.  I think that the point of the question is not to ‘just’ find out what people think of you, but to realize that what your are known for is a direct result of how much you are letting God into your life.  His work in you and through will (or lack of) will overflow out in your actions and people will know you for that.  Examining what you are known for is one window into how God is working your life.

Maybe a different way to pose this question is, “What are you sowing in your life?”  In light of Andy Crouch’s call to be cultivators and creators, I think we need to be sowing.  Then we have to ask the equally important question of where we are getting seeds to sow?

This past Sunday at Coast Vineyard, Michelle Wilson gave a message from Ephesians 4 about valuing the unity in Christ that we have with our brothers and sisters.  Here is an excerpt from the handout:

Be completely humble.

Assume the best of people
Consider that you may be wrong.
Find a way to apologize.

Be completely gentle.

Be quick to listen.
Be slow to speak / become angry.
Ask yourself, “Will this build up or will this tear down?”

Be patient.

Put up with each other.
Forgive.
Make every effort to love each other.

I was very encouraged by these reminders and humbled by their simplicity and saturation of love for God and love our fellow man/woman.

-Be completely humble-

Pride easily takes over, when being better and best is often our cultural goal. We size up people against what we are capable of and often feel vulnerable when their ability exceeds our own, so we critique another aspect of their lives where we are better (or feel that we are better) than them.  But humility, empowers us to think the best of someone, despite their tendency and history.  Sometimes all it takes is someone’s expectation to propel someone above their tendencies.

When we pour ourselves into our creations, admitting that we made a mistake turns our work into a waste, and so we stubbornly ignore the possibility that we could be wrong.  But humility empowers us to realize that in a world with wide diversity of perspective and method, our way can be complimented and improved, and that it is the process of pouring our lives into our creations where value is found, and not so much in the creation itself.

Apology is empowering because it states boldly, “I value our relationship too much to put it in jeopardy over something (anything) I did to damage it.”  We typically want to wait till the other person apologizes and then we will apologize, and only then.  But if we assume the best of people (think that maybe they did not intend to do what they did) and if we consider that we may be wrong (think that maybe we were wrong in our reaction), we can find a way to apologize.

-Be completely gentle-

Listening is a discipline.  I find myself interrupting and cutting people off because 1. I’m impatient and can’t wait for them to finish.  2. I want to give them an answer or solution.  3. I want to convince and defend my point because theirs is inaccurate.  But what those reasons really are saying are 1. What you have to say is not worth my time.  2. Your issue is so simple, just do this.  3. You are wrong, and this is why.  It’s hard to have a relationship with someone who is saying those kind of things in between the lines.  Listening says 1. What you have to say is worth my time and I will honor you by listening completely and fully.  2.  I do not take your problem lightly and the solution is probably even harder, but I will listen to your story for as long as you will share it, and I will stand with you to find a solution.  3. Your perspective and unique identity has shaped you to have this perspective and draw these conclusions and I will spend the time to try and better understand where you are coming from.

On anger, Dallas Willard noted that everything that can be done in anger, can be done better without anger.

-Be completely patient-

Michelle shared a story about how she met with a friend to resolve a disagreement.  They met and the friend began the conversation by saying “If you want me to say that it is my fault and apologize, then I will, because this friendship is worth it to me.”  Friendships and relationships are shattered over disagreements and arguments.  I’m not lessening the importance and magnitude of the disagreements, but elevating the value of relationship and friendship.  I am guilty of this, I think, distancing myself from people who I do not agree with on matters of importance (in my mind), and I am lesser for it.

On forgiveness, Michelle pointed out that forgiveness is not conditional mutually, its not because they deserve it, or because they will reach our expectations, but because God forgave us.  It is from that context that we forgive.  Forgiving someone is not necessarily forgetting what they have done, but showing them the mercy and grace that God has shown us.  Mercy–letting go of any intent of retribution and Grace–giving the opposite of what you feel they deserve.

In light of the ongoing financial crisis and economic mood, there seems to be a growing number of people  re-evaluating gift giving, i.e. the site: No Christmas Gifts This Year.  Gift giving is a lot of things for different people.  It can be a burden when you have no idea what to get your distant cousin.  It can be an expression of love for your significant other.  It can be a responsibility to meet the expectation of your child.  It can be an attempt to “keep up with the Jones” in the expense and magnitude of your generosity.  For me, I’ve been rethinking the pragmatism of gift giving.

I think the challenge this year for me is to give sustainable gifts that keep on giving.  I want to give a gift that just isn’t the proverbial fish, but teaches how to catch fish.  On NPR last weekend, a point was made by Chef Jamie Oliver, (most known for campaigning against processed foods in British Schools) that people [Americans] today are lacking when it comes to making tasty, lasting, nutritional meals at home on a budget and with what ever is available locally and seasonally.  He believes that most people today who are used to going out to eat for a good meal, lack knowledge of substitutions, have very little creativity when it comes to deciding what to make based on what is in their pantry, and have very little understanding of what is in season and what is out of season.  The importance of these skills and knowledge is even more important in light of the current economic atmosphere.

So maybe giving a cookbook to a loved one would be something along these lines, to get them started.  But don’t stop there.  Combine your gift of a cookbook with some IOU gifts of time to choose and prepare a recipe together.  Sharing a meal always provides the ground for deepening frienships, but preparing a meal together catalyzes the process.

I do not own these two books, but received recommendations for them, so for what its worth, here is something to get you started:

1. How to Cook Everything – [$18.10] (After $5 Rebate on Amazon.com)
2. The Splendid Table’s How to Eat Supper – [$23.10] (Amazon.com)

You can also check out some of the cooking adventures of a future trophy husband at my friends blog.

This post marks off the “Deal” category for my site, which a particular reader has been badgering me to begin in order to drive more traffic to my site.  Increasing hits and traffic is not really a top priority, but helping people out and sharing information is, so here is my first deal:

I recently discovered ChristianAudio.com as a great source for audio books.  My first purchase was Dallas Willard’s, Divine Conspiracy, which I have thoroughly enjoyed listening through, during my runs and workouts.  The cool thing about this site is that they offer a free audio book download every month.  The free audio book that are offer each month is typically a christian classic that you might not normally be interested in, but offers  profound and matured insight for those who take the time to listen.  Its great to immerse your mind in the thoughts and insights of past theologians when you are exercising.

On a side note, ChristianAudio.com is having a Thanksgiving Sale Promotion where they are offering Most Digital Downloads for a flat price of $9.49.  This semi-annual sale is apparently a regular happening according to their blog.  The price is definitely worth it if you juxtapose the price with a music album’s mp3 cost on itunes.  I’ve dealt with their customer service in the past regarding incompatible formats and they resolved my issue expeditiously and politely.  They typically offer their downloads in mp3 and wma formats and sometimes mp4 formats.

I was reading Chapter 2 of Dallas Willard’s, Renovation of the Heart, and came across this break down of the human life on page 30.

1. Thought (images, concepts, judgments, inferences)
2. Feeling (sensation, emotion)
3. Choice (will, decision, character)
4. Body (action, interaction with the physical world)
5. Social context (personal and structural relations to others)
6. Soul (the factor that integrates all of the above to form one life)

I’m finding it helpful to evaluate my spiritual health in regards to each of these areas.  I’d like to make it a regular habit, because often life’s experiences magnify one area out of proportion.  It’s easy for us to dissociate one aspect of our lives in order to focus on just that.  Alone, each of these areas are thought to be manageable, but when considered together, the result is overwhelming.  But I believe that our spiritual health depends on the integration of all the parts.

They are all equally important and interdependent; some may be more important than others for a time, but their relation to each other has the potential to enhance and empower.  The true health of our soul in light of a redemptive plan, seems to depend on our lives integration of each complimenting God designed area.  Some brief questions that I’ve considered:

1. (Thought) – Where do my thoughts go in my free time?
2. (Feeling) – Where do I feel content in my life?
3. (Choice) – What choices in my life reflect my thoughts and feelings?
4. (Body) – Where am I being available with energy for people?
5. (Social Context) – Who am I lovingly investing in?
6. (Soul) – How compartmentalized is my life?