Dallas Willard made the point that the stability of one’s identity lies in the acceptance or rejection of who their parents are and what their parents have done for (to) them. (Freudian basis probably?)  He noted that the rejection of one’s parents, their parenting, their influence, etc is to really reject oneself, or one’s own identity.  This assumes one’s identity can not really be separate from their parents which I think often times becomes a subtle misunderstanding from an American perspective that glorifies overcoming the obstacles and rising above one’s circumstances.

This is to say, that those who are have a healthy acceptance and understanding of who their parents are and what they have done for (to) them, both the good and the bad, will have a more stable and clear perspective to discover, define and grow their own identity.

I realized that even above this, the acceptance and understanding of who God is, what he has done for (to) us, allows me to have a single minded, stable and clear perspective to live in this world.  Rejection of God, what he has done, etc is really rejecting my God-given identity and calling where as a deeper understanding and embrace of who God is and what he has done for me allows me to understand and discover more of my own identity.